After a year of trying my hand at different server jobs on the Outer Banks, I’ve decided to go back to treating novel-writing like a job… which it is. It’s all about putting my ass in the chair and doing the work every day even on the days when the muse is out getting a milkshake or a vodka martini, and I’m in front of the screen filled with self-doubt.
I wrote a novel in 2016 that I tried to sell in 2020, and it didn’t happen. The crux/heart of the story has since come to me, only ten years later so I’m SO excited to finish it up and send it out again.
But first, I’m finishing a 10,000th draft of my novel about witches in western Virginia called Apothecary. I have written so many versions of this book, and the strange thing is that the setting and the characters don’t change, but everything else is in flux. I’ve told myself this is the LAST carnation of the book so I’m taking my time as I write toward the end. Of course, I’ll then have to go back to page one and make everything jive and sing and cascade. I have to add a kaleidoscope to the page because I want sparkly colors, geometric shapes, and vitriolic attitudes and characters with whom you empathize. We’ll see how it goes.
It’s been a little bit of a tough year. My panic attacks seem to be returning. Even writing about panic attacks gives me a panic attack, but I’m in flux, changing directions, getting my MA in studio art and hoping to make money with my art this year. The plan is to find homes for the two books: George Glass and Apothecary… and sell a lot of beautiful birds so I can continue to visit New York as often as possible. You know, New York is the “city you know don’t sleep.” You can get Indian food and pizza at two in the morning. They’ve got Mamdani. Everything smells like weed. There are musicians and artists in the parks and subways. The city pulses with excitement. New Yorkers are the best most tolerant accepting people in the world because that’s how you have to be in a city that size, one that has endured so much. Well, Lithuanians are pretty great too!
I’m going to be switching my website up this year. I’m going to start featuring my birds here and selling them and my mugs in addition to selling locally. Fingers crossed. I’ve never been good at commodifying my art. I’m not a business person. I’m an artist. Anyway, I’m glad 2025 is behind us, and I’m hoping for fewer panic attacks this year.
It’s weird how panic attacks happen for me. I’ll think I’m totally relaxed, and that’s when they hit. It’s like a hand squeezing my heart and an ice pick in my right ear, and a tingling in my right shoulder. It’s happening right now. I’d better get back to the writing. I feel safest with the people on the page or the clay in my hands.
I wish everyone the best year ever, and I hope you’re able to spend time doing the things you love.
Hugs!!!
Michele
